So I had a mini breakdown yesterday. If you know me, you know that I do not cry easily and not very often but I did today. Why you ask? Well it went down like this...
Yesterday I got up from bed very tired because I hardly slept at all the night before because I had an upset stomach. I am not a morning person anyway and especially today. I get ready for work and work from home for the first hour because today is the day that I have to take Savannah to pick up her schedule for the 7th grade and see her classroom and lockers. They start school on the 25th.
Savannah's friend, Sidney spent the night like usual and I had to wake both of them up to get ready. A while later I yelled for them to get in the car so we can go to the school. They came down wearing short shortsr and bandanna's in their hair like matching twins. I had flash backs to the eighties. Savannah looked like Bret Michael's! "Ugh, Are you wearing that?" I said. I also had flashbacks of me in 7th grade wearing hideous make up and clothes and my mom being horrified. I didn't care and neither did Savannah.
Anyway we load into the car, bandanna's and all. We make it about 2 blocks and find that the road has been shut down to one lane and the back up is tremendous to get to the school. Are you kidding me, they had the whole summer and they choose school day to work on this road. I really needed to get back to work and now this.
We finally got to the school and no parking. We waited to find a spot and one finally opened up in the back. Of course, I'm wearing my work heals but I decide to be a trooper even though I was already agitated from the road being closed. I swear I must be the most impatient person.
So we walk in the school and I'm completely overwhelmed with the size of the school and how many people are there. If I was overwhelmed, Savannah had to be. So we try to find the line for both Savannah and Sidney's classes.
We roamed the halls trying to find their lockers and classrooms so that they know what to do on the first day. I have blisters on my feet by now from my work heels and walking stairs and halls. Of course Savannah and Squid are walking ahead of me as to look like I'm not with them. I guess that's what they do at this age. I continue to walk the halls in pain and as I look around I see such grown up looking kids. Girls and boys talking and cheerleaders giggling. It felt so surreal, like an out of body experience. This can't be my life! My daughter can't be in Junior High!
Savannah could tell that I was not in the best of moods because I was very quiet.
After waiting another 30 minutes to get home even though we are only 3 blocks from the school (dang roads) I took the girls back home so I could go back to work.
I got to work only to have a complete breakdown. I stayed in the parking lot in my car and began to cry. I was so sad and upset. I called my mom and she sympathized with down. Love her! I don't know why I was crying but I was upset.
I go inside totally cool of course as if I was fine. I had a huge mess at work and a big deal of stress. I wanted to run out of the building. I felt bad for not being more excited with Savannah that morning so I called her and told her that i would take her and Sidney to lunch.
I left the office and bam, road construction again! So a near hour later, we were eating at a local pizza place. The pizza tasted really bad for some reason. I was ruining my diet for this? Anyway, just at that time the bus boy was clearing a table and dropped a bowl on the floor that bounced on the floor and the ranch dressing flew up and landed all over me!!! Ok, I give up! This day sucks!!!
I went back to work, grabbed my computer and headed home where I took some aspirin, had a cold beer and began to pray to the Lord to calm my nerves.
I know that this may not seem like a bad day to some of the Supermoms but I was a mess for some reason. I think it's because my Savannah who was just in my arms as a baby is now a young lady.
Oh Lord, Please give the wisdom to raise a child of God and be the kind of mom that I'm supposed to be. Keep her safe in school and guide her to the right friends. Let her not conform to peer pressure and let her grow closer to you Lord!
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4 comments:
I could be wrong, but, I connected the dots, and I think the diet caused the breakdown! (o: Just kidding! I know this must be a very difficult time for you--it's hard to see our babies grow up. I'm sure this will be a good year for Savannah and you'll enjoy watching her grow and mature. Stay strong, mom!
I cannot even think what I will be like the day I take Gabre to 7th grade. That is a big new world. Just think, this may make HIGH school feel a little easier and then college. Am I making you feel better????
This is the time that I HATE that we live in MO and you live in TX! If it makes you feel better I am crying with you. I can't even imagine what Junior High was like for YOU that day, I think that out of body experience is a great comparison. You are raising a beautiful child of God who has an AMAZING personality and a great head on her shoulders. I hope I can come close to doing as good a job with Abby as you have done with Savannah. I am sure the days ahead will be easier, I wish we were closer because I would have shared the beer and provided a hug! I hope your trip goes well this week and that the time away will give you some time to recoop and feel more at ease. LOVE YOU!
I can remember like it was just yesterday when my daughter started junior high school. I also felt like she had grown up so fast.....(reminds me of the Country song, "Don't Blink") I wanted her to stay a little girl longer, but it wasn't meant to be. Now she is grown up and has turned out to be an excellent mother and wife and I have been so proud of her. Savannah is on the same path that my daughter took years ago. And I am confident that Savannah will turn out just as good as her mother has turned out.....and then, Amber, you will be as proud of Savannah as I am of you. Love, Mom xoxoxoox
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