Who knew adoption was so controversial?

I was watching the news and saw that Madonna was rejected by the Malawi court to adopt her second child. Madonna's case has sparked much debate on International adoption. From what I read, she was rejected because part of the Malawi law requires prospective parents to live in the country for 18 to 24 months while child welfare authorities assess their suitability — a rule that was bent when Madonna was allowed to take David to London in 2006. When she was able to adopt David, this caused a lot of controversy in the adoption world. In addition, her son may have had family that could take care of him and it was questioned if he was a true orphan. Madonna is appealing the recent court decision.
This post is not to give my opinion on this case...see below.

Madonna and David

"Mercy"

The reason why I bring this up is because there has been a lot of chat on the adoption yahoo groups, blogs, personal emails sent to me and more about International adoption and some difficult questions. The media is now bringing attention to some of these topics. Some of those questions include but are not limited to:

Are the children being adopted true orphans?

Should the children be allowed to leave their birth country?

Why don't you give money instead of adopting so the child can stay in their country?

Why don't you adopt domestically and not internationally?

These are just a few of the questions/comments that we have encountered personally not just heard on the media.

I read an article today that was written after the Madonna court rejection. It really sums up my thoughts and feelings and gives the answers that I would give to some of these questions.

The article was written by Melissa Fay Greene, an author and mother of five adopted children. Melissa is the mother of four biological children, four children adopted from Ethiopia and one adopted child from Bulgaria. In the adoption community, She is a very well known author of a book called, There is no me without you.

Here is part of the article published by CNN.com:

CNN: What's your initial reaction to the news that Madonna's adoption of a Malawian child has been rejected?

Greene: Surprise. ... It was awfully tricky with Madonna's first adoption, when the child turned out to have devoted family members nearby. [The singer's adoption of a Malawian boy was finalized last year.] And if that's true with this child also, it seems a similar sticky situation.

That's not the situation for the majority of orphanage children around the world, who don't have caring grandparents or aunts and uncles a short walk or bike ride away.

I think it gives people an odd perspective on what international adoption can mean for children who don't have any support network outside the walls of an orphanage.

You often hear attacks on international adoption as robbing a child of his or her culture, and that's both true and false. It's true that an internationally adopted child loses the rich background of history and religion and culture and language that the child was born into, but the cruel fact is that most children don't have access to the local, beautiful culture within an orphanage. ...

There's a culture in orphanages that children are eager to escape from, and it's a culture of being reared as a group and not being doted upon by parents. For any child, that's the bottom line. The fact is that a human child wants that mommy or daddy or both. We're just wired to want that and to need that. And there's no way an institutional setting can give a human baby what the child needs. It's impossible. So you have to balance priorities. ...

I think what some of the human rights group say is absolutely accurate: that international adoption does not begin to solve the problems of the world's orphaned children. It's truly not the answer. ...

At the same time, international adoption, even though it doesn't solve the whole problem, it solves a problem for a few. I think it can be a brilliant solution to the problem of adults wanting a child in their lives or wanting more children in their lives and the problem of children who want parents in their lives.

To read the rest of the article and to hear more answers to some of the questions that were posed in this post, go HERE.

Well said Melissa!

So most of the time when we're living our day to day lives, people are very supportive. But sometimes, people can be downright rude and judgemental. To be blunt, I don't care if you approve or not. I can't please or be popular with everyone. We followed all the US laws and all Ethiopian law when adopting Ayana. She was an orphan in an orphanage with no one that could care for her. Money would not give her the love of a parent. I know that God called us to adopt from Ethiopia. When God is in control, it can't be wrong, right?

Sorry, rough day... ranting.