OK, I have felt really convicted over the last few months but especially over the last week. I don't know how to verbalize my feelings so this is a warning that this post might not make sense.
I start by saying, I know that God wants his children to be blessed. I also know that He wants us to give, maybe until it hurts a little. Although I do not feel we are materialistic, we have a lot of nice things. Very Nice house, nice cars, 3 square meals a day and so on. I fell like my priorities are all out of whack!!! We are definitely givers and that is why we are so blessed, I think. I also know that my husband and I work our butts off. We actually work too much and I think that is a sin too because I feel it is taking away time from family and God.
Balance. What is it and does anyone ever achieve it? It is a huge struggle. How do you make sure you are spending enough time on marriage, individual kid time, jobs, fitness, SLEEP, and personal time with God. I consider myself a very time disciplined person and yet I have not found a way to achieve balance. I am told that if something is important to you, you make time. Is it really that easy? What if a lot of things are important to you.
I feel I have let myself go, I am gaining weight, losing energy, and working harder than ever! and yet...I am so unbalanced. Ughh...so frustrating.
I have really started to examine what can be taken off my plate lately knowing that Sweet pea is coming home. As I start to examine my plate, there is only a few things I can take off. So this means I need to find a way to re prioritize.
In addition to trying to find balance, I have felt I don't Give enough and do enough for the less fortunate. I am blessed with so much. Should we live in a smaller house and work less so we can do more missions work or give more money.
Their are starving kids and dying people who need help. When you see starving people and people in villages carrying water for miles, it's not just a commercial. It's REAL! How can I live in this large home when people are starving?
I know I am rambling but I really need to seek God on all this. I don't know what to do and it's a heavy burden on my heart.
Thank you Jesus for how you have blessed the Boyds and please lead us in the direction You will have for us, both in our time and in our finances.
Sorry for rambling...I am not even going to read this over before posting because I fear I will sensor my words and not keep it REAL. So here it is. Pushing the Post button...